So I haven’t been writing much recently, I’ve been appearing inactive, and haven’t been discussing my thoughts. And only today I have confirmed to myself what has been going on.
With exams, last-minute deadlines, chores, exercise, and all other activities, I’ve been making excuses left-right-and-centre. I’ve been giving myself pretty good reasons not to do certain things and expertly justifying other things. This morning, I realised and finally accepted that I’m trying to do so many different things that I end up doing and achieving nothing significant with my days. The fleeting distractions that we can get caught up in seem like an interesting path until you realise that it’s a bit of a dead end for you and maybe the other thing that you wanted to do had a bit more sunshine on the path.
To be frank, my dreams as of late have been really contradicting and overwhelming and I’ve noticed this in my sleeping positions too. I would dream something, then I would notice I’m dreaming, and turn over in bed leading to another dream, this would repeat itself on and on till I wake up restless. I don’t really know why I’m writing this here but sure why not? It kind of falls in line with what I’m trying to discuss here. You see, what I’ve noticed is that by procrastinating on some things we instantly free up our time to do something else; and this “something else” can either be something better or something worse. “Something better” could be classified as something closer to what you want to be doing with your life in that exact moment or something that leads you closer to whatever it is that you love to do. “Something worse” I would classify as the fleeting joys, the easy options, and things that steer us further away from our desires and passions.
It’s very easy to start something new compared to staying consistent on previously set tasks, goals, and desires. Don’t get me wrong no path is so linear that you always simply trundle onwards in a straight line, however, having ten different paths that lead in no general direction is what you need to watch out for, and this is what I’ve confirmed myself today. I can justify this situation I put myself in because I feel it has reassured me and brought me closer to the things that I actually want to do, and for this sole reason I believe getting thrown of the track is worth it. Like if you really want to do something, chances are you’re gonna do it, regardless of its highs and lows. The trick lies in the lies that you can tell yourself that “this IS what I want to do”, when really it isn’t at all. The only way you can understand whether or not you’re telling yourself that lie is to understand yourself better. And as I think I have mentioned in an issue before this discovery of self is a noble pursuit.
Anyways that was my first rant back after a while of drifting. I do love a bit of drifting, but after a while I think it’s important to get back to shore and make sure you’re not stuck in the middle of a vast ocean with no sight of land. To finish off I leave you with your favourite thing, a quote from our homie Sun Tzu:
“A good traveller has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.”